1 00:00:01,236 --> 00:00:04,576 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:07,782 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:11,690 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:14,696 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:18,136 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:21,309 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,046 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:24,315 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:30,260 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:36,072 --> 00:00:38,310 (lively chatter) 11 00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:43,019 Ah, it's so exciting to be back at the Halloween Carnival. 12 00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:44,556 Yep. Thanks to the vaccines, 13 00:00:44,556 --> 00:00:47,027 we can all get back to doing the things we hate. 14 00:00:47,127 --> 00:00:48,531 Oh, for God's sakes, Peter, 15 00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:50,635 I am so tired of you not making an effort 16 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,204 to be a part of this family. 17 00:00:52,204 --> 00:00:54,442 Lois, I drove us here. I bought the tickets. 18 00:00:54,442 --> 00:00:56,947 I'm sadly shuffling through this place with you. 19 00:00:57,047 --> 00:00:58,551 - What more do you want? - Well, I don't know. 20 00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,254 I want you to act like you're happy 21 00:01:00,254 --> 00:01:02,091 to be with your family every now and again. 22 00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:04,395 Look, I'm doing the best I can, but I got to tell you... 23 00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:06,533 Whoa! 24 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,069 Careful. 25 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,175 Oh, and there's my boss. Even better. 26 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,179 Hey, Preston. What's with the hat? 27 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,050 This is my Halloween costume. 28 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,822 I'm dressed as 1990s comedian Paul Shore. 29 00:01:17,923 --> 00:01:19,927 You-you mean Pauly Shore? 30 00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,197 Perhaps in less formal circumstances. 31 00:01:22,298 --> 00:01:24,603 You may recall he borrowed heavily from surf culture, 32 00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:28,844 with phrases such as, "Hey, buddy," and "Grindage". 33 00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:30,715 I don't think this costume is working. 34 00:01:30,815 --> 00:01:32,585 Neither is Pauly Shore. 35 00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:34,589 Ooh! That looks scary. 36 00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:38,363 "The House of Unskippable Podcast Ads." 37 00:01:40,969 --> 00:01:42,973 PODCASTER: Before we get to the thrilling conclusion 38 00:01:43,073 --> 00:01:44,275 of Murder at the South Pole, 39 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,979 I'd like to tell you about UNTUCKit shirts. 40 00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:46,981 (all gasp) 41 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,383 I-I'm hitting "skip ahead," 42 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,686 but it's not doing anything! 43 00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:52,091 PODCASTER: Last weekend, I was at a barbecue and thought, 44 00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:53,995 "What's with all this excess fabric 45 00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,330 at the bottom of my shirt?" 46 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,537 Oh, God! A clearly fake personal story! 47 00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,107 PODCASTER: The big game was on the boob tube, 48 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,879 but the biggest touchdown was the perfect length 49 00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:06,352 of my friend's premium-made, affordably priced shirt. 50 00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,490 Literally no one talks like that! 51 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,928 PODCASTER: So, I went right home and Bing-ed "UNTUCKit" 52 00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:12,666 on my Microsoft Surface. 53 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,838 Is this a promotion within a promotion?! 54 00:02:15,838 --> 00:02:17,341 PODCASTER: UNTUCKit shirts. 55 00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:20,715 We weren't here for Kevin James, but we're here now. 56 00:02:20,715 --> 00:02:22,819 (lively chatter, screaming) 57 00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:27,261 All right, gang, as a mom who planned a family activity, 58 00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,231 I'm gonna put wild pressure on you guys 59 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,868 to say you're having a good time. 60 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:35,310 Chris, honey, are you-- are you having a good time? 61 00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:39,085 (nervous laugh) Okay, I'm gonna need a verbal response. 62 00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,788 - Yeah. - Oh, good. 63 00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,157 Chris is having a good time. 64 00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:44,128 Meg. Meg, are you having a good time 65 00:02:44,128 --> 00:02:45,998 - just like your brother? - I guess. 66 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,669 Okay, great. 67 00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,405 Can you sign this form for my Mom Meeting, 68 00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:51,476 acknowledging your merriment? 69 00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:53,914 Wow, very good. 70 00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,450 I see everyone had a good time. 71 00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,624 Would you like to spin the wheel of Mom Prizes? 72 00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:01,630 (wheel clatters) 73 00:03:07,575 --> 00:03:10,047 "Donate spin to mom you wish to belittle." 74 00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,184 Oh, thank you! But, you know, 75 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,623 Bonnie needs this more than I do. 76 00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:19,265 (whispers): Her rejuvenation only made things worse. 77 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,304 (lively chatter) 78 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:28,349 Holography? That's next door to witchcraft, 79 00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,888 and down the hall from David-Blaine-ery. 80 00:03:30,888 --> 00:03:32,625 I do not care for his ruses. 81 00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:35,565 Ah, stop being such a wuss. Let's go. 82 00:03:35,565 --> 00:03:37,669 ♪ ♪ 83 00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:44,248 The Michael Cera hologram is a weird choice. 84 00:03:44,248 --> 00:03:47,287 Oh, i-it's the real me. I'm just kind of translucent. 85 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,258 Oh, hello, Hollywood. 86 00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:50,528 Yes, I would like to star 87 00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:52,331 in an action movie franchise. (chuckles) 88 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,068 That's not a Bluetooth. 89 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,872 He just stuck a Tootsie Roll in his ear. 90 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,476 Wow, these holograms are the most amazing thing 91 00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:01,950 I've ever seen, and I've seen, like, a really big horse. 92 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,689 (electrical crackling, whirring) 93 00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:10,167 Welcome to my hologram laboratory. 94 00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,507 Would you like to see how I make my babies? 95 00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:15,645 I mean, I'm already here. 96 00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:16,947 Is that a yes? 97 00:04:16,947 --> 00:04:19,553 - Yes. - Just say that, then. 98 00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:22,725 This machine scans your data, 99 00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:25,765 then creates a virtual hard light version of you 100 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,205 that can physically interact with the world. 101 00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:30,675 That sounds kind of bogus. 102 00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:32,211 Does the science check out on that? 103 00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:34,148 They used it on Star Trek. 104 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,551 You got a problem with Star Trek? 105 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,089 Okay, take it easy. I accept your explanation. 106 00:04:38,189 --> 00:04:40,360 We all should. It's Halloween. 107 00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:43,968 You can command them to perform any human task, 108 00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,771 no matter how menial. 109 00:04:45,872 --> 00:04:47,976 So, you're saying I can have something 110 00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:49,679 that looks exactly like me 111 00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:52,585 seem like it's enjoying spending time with its family? 112 00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,121 Precisely. 113 00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:56,192 - Can I have it? - I'm afraid not. 114 00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:57,829 It's my only one. 115 00:04:57,962 --> 00:05:02,471 Maybe there are... other arrangements we can make? 116 00:05:02,471 --> 00:05:05,477 Boy, this is the first button-down shirt 117 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,281 that looks great untucked. 118 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:09,653 - It's an UNTUCKit. - What's their secret? 119 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,857 Oh, they just make shirts a tiny bit shorter. 120 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,393 Genius. 121 00:05:13,493 --> 00:05:15,965 (thunder crashing) 122 00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:18,938 (thunder rumbling) 123 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:24,014 ♪ ♪ 124 00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:30,026 Man, this machine is complicated. 125 00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:31,763 I hope I can figure it out. 126 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,936 Here goes nothing. 127 00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:40,615 Thank you for choosing the Holomaker-9000. 128 00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:43,386 Please input personal characteristics. 129 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,856 Do they have to be true? 130 00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,695 I have no way of knowing what is true and what is not. 131 00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:50,433 Such is life in the Post-Donald-Trump Era. 132 00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:52,872 Ugh, leave the satire to Garrison Keillor. 133 00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:55,410 Okay, time for some statements about myself 134 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,314 that are definitely not lies. 135 00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:59,619 Let's see, I'm a black belt in karate, 136 00:05:59,619 --> 00:06:01,623 I can cook an eight-course French meal, 137 00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:03,761 I always enter cars through the window 138 00:06:03,861 --> 00:06:05,497 'cause doors ain't the boss of me, 139 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,467 and I'm great at remembering names. 140 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,541 Just ask my friends: Joel, Clemson and QuickTime. 141 00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:13,112 ♪ ♪ 142 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:27,241 Hello, Peter Griffin. I am Hologram Peter Griffin. 143 00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:29,345 How may I be of service? 144 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,648 LOIS: Come upstairs, Peter! 145 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,785 I need you to put the too-small slip covers 146 00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:34,923 on the hard-to-grip couch pillows. 147 00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:37,027 (shudders) You can start by handling that. 148 00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:40,768 I would be happy to help your family with whatever they need. 149 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,739 Aw, sweet! If this works out, 150 00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:45,143 I'll have more time for those QAnon rallies. 151 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,314 - What do we want? - We don't know! 152 00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:49,986 - When do we want it? - Also unclear! 153 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:52,659 - Why do we want it? - Because it was forwarded to us 154 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:55,163 in an email, so it must be true! 155 00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:57,000 Yeah! 156 00:06:58,002 --> 00:06:59,305 Oh, Peter, there you are. 157 00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:01,309 Listen, I'm trying to clear out my closet, 158 00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:05,050 so I want you to give me your honest opinion of every garment. 159 00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:11,395 Perfect. I love working as a team to reduce clutter. 160 00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,836 Okay, first, my "7 Up Yours" T-shirt. 161 00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:18,009 That was the most provocative thing ever put on television 162 00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:21,182 - at the time, you have to keep that. - Okay, great. 163 00:07:21,182 --> 00:07:24,689 Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita" T-shirt Bethenny Frankel gave me 164 00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,560 after she hit Chris with her car. 165 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,396 That's a fun story. Keep. 166 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,833 Great. Okay. 167 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,137 Under-the-seat studio audience poncho 168 00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:33,741 from The Meredith Vieira Show? 169 00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:37,347 Maybe it's time to say goodbye to Miss Vieira. 170 00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:39,686 (muffled): Oh, man, this is going great! 171 00:07:39,786 --> 00:07:41,923 (banging) 172 00:07:42,024 --> 00:07:44,562 Aw, crap, I'm stuck. 173 00:07:44,562 --> 00:07:46,566 Let me call my eyehole painting guy. 174 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,537 -(phone beeps) - Hey, it's Peter Griffin. 175 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,875 Yep, trapped in the painting again. 176 00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,411 I know, I know. 177 00:07:52,411 --> 00:07:54,549 Well, can't you just look up my account? 178 00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,520 No, I don't have my ID number. 179 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,724 No, I can't get my ID number! 180 00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,828 Because I'm trapped in the painting! 181 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,199 I'm sorry, I-I'm mad at your company, not you. 182 00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,468 You-You're fine. 183 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,017 Okay, yesterday worked out great. 184 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,056 So here's some more dumb family stuff I want you to do for me. 185 00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:17,829 "Teach Stewie what sound the cow makes." 186 00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:20,568 It's "moo." "Quack" is duck. 187 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,270 "Get opiates from John." 188 00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,574 Yeah, I'll give you John's number. 189 00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:26,412 Tell him it's Peter calling for opiates from John. 190 00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:28,049 - He'll know what you mean. - Got it. 191 00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:29,351 Now that you're doing all that, 192 00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,455 I'm going to The Clam with the guys. 193 00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,727 Oh, man, this hologram thing is the best idea 194 00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,998 since the Mayflower hired a cruise director. 195 00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:38,369 Okay, everyone, from 8:00 until 9:00, 196 00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:40,641 we'll be trembling before our angry God. 197 00:08:40,775 --> 00:08:43,379 From 9:00 to 10:00, there's yellow fever on the lido deck. 198 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,651 And at 10:00, it's everybody's favorite, 199 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,354 Buckle-Hat Bingo. 200 00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,258 What if we lost our buckle hat? 201 00:08:49,358 --> 00:08:51,228 - Well, do you have a plain hat? - Yeah. 202 00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:52,865 - Do you have a belt? - Yeah. 203 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,504 - You got a buckle hat. -(murmuring) 204 00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:58,811 (whispers): I just love knowing what's going on. 205 00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,754 Oh, Peter, thanks for clearing out 206 00:09:03,754 --> 00:09:05,725 an area for us to start a garden. 207 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:09,866 Yeah, they say the best day to plant a garden is yesterday. 208 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,204 And the next best day is today! 209 00:09:12,204 --> 00:09:13,774 (both laugh) 210 00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:15,911 This, this is what I meant 211 00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:17,949 about making an effort with the family. 212 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:21,890 And I can garden, too, 'cause I have a brown thumb. 213 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,829 That's more of a wiping issue, son, but I'm glad you're here. 214 00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:27,167 This is great, but I'm a little hot. 215 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,073 No problem, that's why I bought a giant sun hat 216 00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:31,342 that can fit all of us. 217 00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:33,781 And now to quote the kitchen towel, 218 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,918 "Lettuce turnip the beet." 219 00:09:36,018 --> 00:09:40,293 (laughing): Stop it or I'm gonna wet myself. 220 00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:42,865 Me, too. I always wet my plants. 221 00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:44,836 (laughter) 222 00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,439 Where do you get all this? 223 00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,042 They're all from towels, Lois! 224 00:09:48,142 --> 00:09:50,013 They're all from towels! 225 00:09:52,819 --> 00:09:55,056 Well, what do you think, guys? 226 00:09:55,190 --> 00:09:56,158 Should we wrap it up? 227 00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:58,597 Yeah, but can one of you throw glitter on me? 228 00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,235 It's-it's better if Lois thinks I'm at a strip club. 229 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,972 She hates you guys. 230 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:06,847 Peter, I think you're a little too drunk to walk home. 231 00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:09,986 - Yeah, give us your shoes. - Can we give you a ride? 232 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,957 No, no, it's okay. I'll just black out 233 00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:14,394 and-and never know how I got home. 234 00:10:14,394 --> 00:10:16,165 (insects trilling) 235 00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,102 Works every time. 236 00:10:18,102 --> 00:10:20,708 And it's good for the environment, maybe. 237 00:10:22,377 --> 00:10:25,150 (family laughing inside) 238 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,156 - Boy, they look pretty happy. -(piano music playing) 239 00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:30,828 (gasps) And they're singing Halloween carols. 240 00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,567 ♪ Halloween has lots of candy ♪ 241 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,138 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 242 00:10:36,138 --> 00:10:38,877 ♪ Wear a mask and ring a doorbell ♪ 243 00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:41,716 - The perfect rhyme! - ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 244 00:10:41,817 --> 00:10:44,321 ♪ Don't be racist with your costume ♪ 245 00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:47,995 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪ 246 00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:49,566 (music ends) 247 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,001 Ah, that was fun. 248 00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,239 And now that we're just about done with Halloween, 249 00:10:53,239 --> 00:10:56,378 maybe it's time to start writing the family Christmas letter. 250 00:10:56,478 --> 00:10:58,851 Ah, Peter, that's a great idea! 251 00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:00,521 (scoffs) Good luck, pal. 252 00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,023 Our Christmas letter always runs aground 253 00:11:02,123 --> 00:11:03,994 'cause our family has no accomplishments. 254 00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:06,666 All right, we need some highlights from our year. 255 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,639 Um, I got suspended for setting up a tent 256 00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:12,010 in my Spanish teacher's front yard. 257 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:14,181 "After several adventurous camping trips, 258 00:11:14,181 --> 00:11:16,620 "Chris is becoming quite the outdoorsman 259 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,291 and has found a true mentor in Señora Diaz." 260 00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:21,863 I was trying to snag a bagel from the school dumpster 261 00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,234 and got accidentally hoisted into the garbage truck. 262 00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:26,940 "This was the year Meg caught the travel bug." 263 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,111 Stewie's first pony ride ended 264 00:11:29,111 --> 00:11:31,883 after he blew out his diaper all over the horse's back. 265 00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,820 "Stewie pooped on a horse." 266 00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:36,058 Whoa, Pop, where's my razzle-dazzle? 267 00:11:36,158 --> 00:11:39,699 "And Lois celebrated her 29th birthday this year." 268 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,337 (laughs): Oh, Peter. 269 00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:43,874 What the h-- Lois isn't 29... 270 00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:46,412 Oh, I see what he's doing. 271 00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:48,249 That's-that's very funny. 272 00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:54,428 What the hell? No one kisses my wife 273 00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,232 except, begrudgingly, me! 274 00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,670 It's time for Hologram Peter to go back 275 00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:00,440 inside the machine where he came from. 276 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,446 I'll be back in a minute. 277 00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:04,849 Don't pray without me. 278 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,853 Give me that! You're not the only one 279 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,757 who can do things for this family. 280 00:12:09,826 --> 00:12:11,997 Can you... can you pick that up? 281 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,401 Listen, I appreciate you covering for me, 282 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,704 but I can take it from here. 283 00:12:15,804 --> 00:12:18,276 Don't be silly. I've got 'em all taken care of. 284 00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:21,048 - Go have fun. - I thought this was gonna be a good idea, 285 00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:22,952 and-and these last few hours have been great... 286 00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:24,522 You've been gone three days. 287 00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:26,593 But I'm ready to go back to my family. 288 00:12:26,593 --> 00:12:28,195 Okay, you're the boss. 289 00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,832 The hologram machine is in the basement. 290 00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:32,772 Let's head down there together and sort this out. 291 00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:37,280 (thunder crashes) 292 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,752 ♪ ♪ 293 00:12:41,355 --> 00:12:44,929 Where's the machine? I left it right over-- (grunts) 294 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,537 WEST: As Peter lost consciousness, 295 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,745 he finally saw the folly of his hologram misadventure. 296 00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,983 (toilet flushes) 297 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,788 Also, going forward, I'd appreciate 298 00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,126 a bit more warning before having to narrate. 299 00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:02,565 -(water running) - Even just a few minutes 300 00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:05,236 - to finish whatever it is I'm doing. -(water stops) 301 00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,775 -(knocking) - CLERK: Sir, you're supposed to buy something 302 00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:09,478 if you want to use the restroom. 303 00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,883 WEST: Well, what's the cheapest thing you got? 304 00:13:11,883 --> 00:13:14,021 CLERK: Probably a near-the-register cookie? 305 00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:16,158 WEST: Well, put me down for one of those. 306 00:13:24,374 --> 00:13:26,378 Wha... what happened? 307 00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:29,151 - I knocked you out and tied you up. - Why? 308 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:31,723 Because they're my family now. 309 00:13:31,823 --> 00:13:33,627 (laughs maniacally) 310 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,163 Well, the joke's on you. 311 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:38,169 When you first got here, I sent a letter to the FBI 312 00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:41,108 because I knew something like this might happen. 313 00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,479 Is it bad? 314 00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,151 It's better than the last one. 315 00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:48,389 You should put it up on the FBI fridge 316 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,892 next to his drawing of Shrek. 317 00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,095 -(laughs) - What? 318 00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:53,366 Nothing. It's not supposed to be Shrek. 319 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,671 It's supposed to be the Hulk, but that's funny. 320 00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:57,440 You don't deserve your family. 321 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,779 I care about them way more than you ever did. 322 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:01,081 That's not true! 323 00:14:01,181 --> 00:14:03,954 Oh, yeah? Who bought double-decker burial plots 324 00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,791 because Lois likes to be on top? 325 00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,095 Who taught Chris to whisper... (whispers) "Black" 326 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,233 out of respect for... (whispers) "Blacks"? 327 00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:14,174 Me! And once I finish you, they'll be all mine. 328 00:14:14,174 --> 00:14:16,913 LOIS: Peter! Can you come upstairs 329 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:19,552 and tell me if this gray chicken smells funny? 330 00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:20,854 Be right up, babe! 331 00:14:20,954 --> 00:14:24,428 Aw, man. This is worse than-- (muffled speech) 332 00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:30,607 Wait, what are we supposed to do in this cutaway? 333 00:14:30,607 --> 00:14:32,778 I don't know, I didn-- I didn't understand the setup. 334 00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,882 Well, we have to do something. 335 00:14:34,882 --> 00:14:39,458 Um, I mean, you do have a long neck and I have fangs. 336 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,228 Maybe something in that area? 337 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,834 Uh, maybe we just wait to hear what the grown men 338 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,904 who write for cartoons say? 339 00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:54,454 Cream number 99 and cream 100. 340 00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,860 Okay, I'm ready for bed. 341 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,897 Well, we had meatloaf tonight, 342 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,868 so I guess I'm in for a Dutch oven. 343 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,237 What's a Dutch oven? 344 00:15:02,237 --> 00:15:04,174 (gasps) 345 00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:13,359 Peter, wh-why is there dental floss in this trash can? 346 00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,829 Because I just flossed. 347 00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:16,866 Death creeps in through the gums, you know. 348 00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:18,369 (muffled scream) 349 00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:21,442 Um, Peter, I-I need to go downstairs. 350 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,982 I... I left a lame excuse on the stove. 351 00:15:25,082 --> 00:15:28,189 Okay, but be careful, I just mopped the kitchen floor. 352 00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,761 HOLOGRAM PETER: I love you! 353 00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:33,265 Stewie, wake up! We got to go. 354 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,869 Chris, come on. We got to go. 355 00:15:34,869 --> 00:15:37,908 Meg, can you drag the trash to the curb tomorrow before 9:00? 356 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:39,344 We won't be here. 357 00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:42,350 ♪ ♪ 358 00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:46,993 Thanks for telling us that whole backstory 359 00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:48,597 on the way down the stairs, Mom. 360 00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:51,001 Yeah, now we don't have to waste time hearing about 361 00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,038 how a hologram of Peter replaced the real Peter. 362 00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,509 Although, I don't know why we had to hear about 363 00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:56,713 Bonnie not inviting you to Rosé Game Night. 364 00:15:56,813 --> 00:15:59,719 Well, I just thought it was weird, 'cause it was my idea. 365 00:15:59,719 --> 00:16:01,455 (thunder crashes) 366 00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:03,459 ♪ ♪ 367 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,496 (screaming) 368 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,469 Going somewhere, family? 369 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:12,043 -(laughing maniacally) -(thunder crashes) 370 00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:16,351 -(laughing fades) -(thunder crashes) 371 00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,792 I didn't want to have to tie you up. 372 00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:21,461 I did everything for you. 373 00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,367 And people think holograms don't have feelings. 374 00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,504 Well, we don't. 375 00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,942 And then I watched one episode of This Is Us, 376 00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:30,146 and now I'm all feelings. 377 00:16:30,146 --> 00:16:33,854 Don't mention This is Us. Aw, great. Now I'm gonna cry. 378 00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,891 Save your crocodile tears. 379 00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,728 None of you appreciated me. 380 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:40,767 And if I can't have you, no one will. 381 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,507 PETER: I hate This is Us. 382 00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:45,944 Let my family go. 383 00:16:46,078 --> 00:16:47,948 -(all gasp) - I'm impressed. 384 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,119 How did you free yourself from the bindings? 385 00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:53,292 I found a hacksaw and sawed through my hands. 386 00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:55,263 Why didn't you saw through the ropes? 387 00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,535 Hacksaw hindsight is twenty-twenty, Lois. 388 00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,541 The important thing is, I stitched my hands back on 389 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,143 with Twizzlers. 390 00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,387 All right, fat guy fight rules: 391 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,559 We grab at each other's shirts until we're out of breath 392 00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:11,996 - and then a three-minute break. - Got it. 393 00:17:12,096 --> 00:17:13,934 Should we just take a three-minute break now? 394 00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,303 Agreed. 395 00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,379 It turned into a pudding break. 396 00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:21,816 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 397 00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,319 I didn't get to lick the lid. 398 00:17:23,452 --> 00:17:25,256 (grunting) 399 00:17:25,356 --> 00:17:27,561 ♪ ♪ 400 00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:32,036 -(crackling) - Now for the final download. 401 00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:34,575 Everything in your mind. 402 00:17:36,078 --> 00:17:38,282 -(crackling stops) -(gasps) 403 00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:41,488 Joke's on you. There's nothing in there. 404 00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,760 (grunting) 405 00:17:52,143 --> 00:17:54,381 Guys, Dad needs help! 406 00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:55,784 (groans) 407 00:17:55,884 --> 00:17:58,890 (crackling) 408 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:00,026 (screams) 409 00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,663 We have to short-circuit the hologram. 410 00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:04,034 Can anyone shoot lightning from their fingers? 411 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:05,671 I can, 412 00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:09,244 but I have to be very angry. 413 00:18:09,912 --> 00:18:11,214 (cries out) 414 00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:14,187 Wait, Brian, there are other kinds of electricity. 415 00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:16,191 By simply rubbing my feet on the carpet, 416 00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:18,596 I may be able to generate enough static electricity 417 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,968 - to do the job. - Stewie, that's a great idea! 418 00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:22,103 What can I do to help? 419 00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,640 I need something to get my feet going. 420 00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,176 Can you sing "I Got Rhythm"? 421 00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:28,382 Um, I-I... Can I, can I just say "da da" 422 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,585 for the words I don't know? 423 00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:30,921 We have no choice. Go! 424 00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:32,691 ♪ Da da rhythm ♪ 425 00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:34,060 Wait, wait, wait. (stammers) 426 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,264 We're starting with the "da das" already? 427 00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:38,703 You don't know "I got rhythm"? It's in the name! 428 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:39,939 Okay, I got it. Got it, got it. 429 00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,143 - ♪ I got da da ♪ - Rhythm! 430 00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,647 You said that the first time! 431 00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:46,719 Okay, now I'm starting to get angry. 432 00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,088 (groans) I'll do it myself. 433 00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,725 ♪ I got rhythm ♪ 434 00:18:49,725 --> 00:18:51,228 ♪ Da da music. ♪ 435 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,497 Oh-ho! The expert. 436 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,200 Well, I got through the title at least. 437 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,273 (screams, grunts) 438 00:18:59,712 --> 00:19:00,981 (straining) 439 00:19:00,981 --> 00:19:02,985 -(crackling) - It's working! 440 00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,154 Quick, everyone, hold hands. 441 00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,691 We have to reach Peter. 442 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:12,003 -(grunting) -(crackling) 443 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,740 We can't reach him! 444 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,009 Lois, use your toe! 445 00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:17,246 I haven't had a pedicure in four weeks! 446 00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,451 Just do it. We won't look. 447 00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:22,891 Ew. 448 00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:24,862 Peter! Touch my toe! 449 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,632 - Ew. - ALL: Do it! 450 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,972 That's usually my line, but whatever. 451 00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:32,678 (straining, grunting) 452 00:19:37,086 --> 00:19:39,391 (cries out) 453 00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:41,194 -(groaning) -(crackling) 454 00:19:42,063 --> 00:19:44,300 (groaning) 455 00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:48,375 Wilma! 456 00:19:52,918 --> 00:19:54,054 (hissing) 457 00:19:54,054 --> 00:19:55,557 (gasps) 458 00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:59,497 You saved us, Peter. 459 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,303 Yeah, glad you thought of it. 460 00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:03,907 I hate this place. 461 00:20:04,007 --> 00:20:05,610 Of course I did. 462 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,579 I love you guys. 463 00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:09,050 And from now on, I'll try to be half as good 464 00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,587 as Hologram Me was. 465 00:20:10,587 --> 00:20:12,323 Oh, but don't you see, Peter? 466 00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:14,461 The hologram was you. 467 00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,198 He was just the best version of you. 468 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,469 You can get there, it'll just take work. 469 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,542 No, the deal was I promise to be half as good 470 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,477 as a fake thing. 471 00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:24,515 - All right, just do that. - No promises. 472 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,430 Well, Peter, I'm glad you're safe, 473 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,100 and everything's back to normal. 474 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,304 Yeah. Me, too. And you know what? 475 00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,543 I realized how much I missed you guys. 476 00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,446 What do you say we turn off that TV 477 00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:42,049 and do something as a family? 478 00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,485 -(all gasp) - Damn it. 479 00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,289 He created another hologram. 480 00:20:45,389 --> 00:20:47,326 (sighs) I'll get my feet started. 481 00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:50,065 - Brian, little "Camptown Races"? - You got it. 482 00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,736 ♪ Da da ladies sing this song ♪ 483 00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:54,340 - I just gave you the title! - Sorry, uh... 484 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,244 ♪ Camptown ladies sing this song ♪ 485 00:20:56,244 --> 00:20:58,182 - ♪ Da da-- ♪ - It's "Doo-dah"! 486 00:20:58,182 --> 00:20:59,250 At least I got one of 'em. 487 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,921 The second one doesn't count! 488 00:21:00,971 --> 00:21:05,521 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0